bukamata : platonic friendships

assalamualaikum wbt.

 as I was scrolling down through my facebook's TL I saw one of my friends post a video about the platonic friendships......and it gave an idea to write this entry....but before I explain to you what is platonic friendships actually....I would like to ask you a question....

"can men and women be just friends without having any feeling towards each others? "

If your answer is YES,you might want to think again.....

And if you answer NO.....you are right :)

so.. can heterosexual men and women ever be just friends? so I search about this topic on google and I found this one article....about a research done by Adrian F.Ward..and the result is rather surprising as women and men have different responses...

"The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends. Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more. And even though both genders agree overall that attraction between platonic friends is more negative than positive, males are less likely than females to hold this view.So, can men and women be “just friends?” If we all thought like women, almost certainly.  But if we all thought like men, we’d probably be facing a serious overpopulation crisis."

read the full article here : http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends

that is from the scientific view......but in our own religion can we be friends with the opposite sex.....well the answer is NO...NO...NO....why? Simply because sometimes it lead to 'fitnah'.....but it doesn't mean that it's haram to be friends with the guys or girls.....but there is some restriction  that should be obeyed as you become friends....

aurah, no body contact, avoid using all that fake voices, no ikhilat, don't put too much perfume till it can be smelled by the guys and lastly make sure that you keep your distance apart....at least 1 meter #eh

and for the girls, please...please....please...look after yourself well.....if something happens to you (pride), who should be blamed? him....your own parents..NO it's you....so please don't simply put your whole trust to the guys (guys, don't be offended...I know the one that reading this right now its a good guy after-all)

so, the conclusion is.....it's possible for a women and men to be friends without having feelings towards each other....unless your a lesbian or gay...which is.

but before you press that X button on the top....do watch the video below :)

till we meet again...adios amigos...

from the Islamic view : 

friend-zoned?

the perfect conclusion

source :

• http://www.myilham.com/blog/2011/10/bolehkah-lelaki-dan-wanita-bersahabat/
• http://ummunuh.blogspot.com/2011/12/boleh-ke-perempuan-berkawan-dengan.html
• http://www.islamituindah.my/batas-pergaulan-lelaki-dan-perempuan
•  http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends
• last but not least..... YouTube :)