feeling low

Bismillah.

The hardest struggle of all is to be something different from what the average man is.
– Charles M Schwab

Sometimes I just wish I was a normal person.
Hidden in the crowd and no one notice me.
Being in the spotlight, sometimes I wonder why it always have to be me.

Why I have to bother to solve problems created by others.
And suffered deep inside.
Stressing myself.
Skipping meals.
Losing my weight.

To whom I should sacrifice myself too
When sometimes people don't appreciate the efforts that I've done

Now, I feel like I want to run away from everything
Being a leader is something that I loved.
Sometimes I wished those people to stop being too dependent on me
But a wish will still remains as a wish
Slowly things that I love have become something that I dislike.

Stressed. Depressed. Cried silently. Wipe away my tears. Act normal.
How I wished life will go easy on me.

Right now,
I just want to pack my bag
To leave everything and travel
Longing for a trip.
Just so that my physical and mental finally get its rest.

I'm too tired right now.

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

[2:286]